turninglifespaiges

It’s amazing how much we doubt ourselves as human beings; how much we don’t try for things because we think we’re not good enough.

I’ve been working on my self-reflection skills. But what I’ve been working on is being too hard on myself. I often strive for perfection or close to it anyway. My dad held me to a very high standard; so did my mom, but it was different with her. My dad was always way harder on me than my mom.

If I brought home a B in math, my dad would be displeased. I’d say, “But dad, all the other kids got Cs. I did better than them!”

”I know your worth an A Paige, stop slacking off,” he’d snap back. “You’re not a  B average. You know that. You got a 98 on your FCAT for Christ’s sake!”

He always expected the most from me. So I always tried to give it everything I had and always attempted perfection. I wasn’t bad at it, but it’s unrealistic expectations. There’s no way anyone will be perfect.

Not saying my dad was unrealistic. He was probably the most logical and reasonable person I’ve ever known. He just pushed me hard to get me as close as possible. I held a grudge for years because I felt he was way harder on me than my sister.

But now, I’m grateful for every punishment, every grounding, and all the lectures I got. I expect the best I can do from myself, and give everything my all.

But I won’t hold myself back from trying something, because I don’t think I’m good enough. I almost didn’t attempt something because I thought it was just out of reach…one day I decided, I’m gonna jump, and I landed. It literally shook my entire perception of myself, and I wondered why I didn’t do it sooner…

We are good enough. Don’t ever hold back because you don’t think you’re not going to make it. Just try, you might surprise yourself like I did.