turninglifespaiges

So, I’m back here again to write about the loss of my Step-father. Just 6 years ago, I started to self-reflect and memorialize the loss of my father. Grief has become a familiar friend in my life time, and has accompanied me in my late 20s and early 30s. I am fortunate enough that it was when I am old enough to process and handle with grace and understanding rather than being too young.

Joe was a wonderful person in our lives. He stepped back into my mom’s life and loved her with everything he had. She was his woman that got away, a childhood crush that just never panned out. They hung out as teenagers, but their paths diverted shortly after high school. Joe served in our nations military for 24 years in the infantry as a paratrooper and jump master.

I remember when my mom came to me and told me she met a man after my dad had passed. It had been a while thereafter, and I had just had a conversation with her that I didn’t want her to be alone forever. She was giggling and beaming when she talked about him, and decided to move back to GA to be near him. Of course that meant leaving me, my sister and her life behind in FL. I told her to pursue her heart, and go where she would be happy.

Joe was a great support system for us. He told my mom multiple times a day how much he loved her, showed her all the time through many loving gestures and they had the best time together. They got to go on adventures like riding in helicopters and shooting guns and .50cals. They had a blast for the 5 years they were together, and were truly happy.

It was nice having someone to call Dad again, since he loved me like I was his own. I’d call my mom, and he’d always pop in and say hi and he loved me. I really appreciated it, since he really didn’t have to.

It came down to cancer vs. Joe and he beat it for a while. He was in remission shortly after being reintroduced to my mom. But as we all know, cancer sucks, and sometimes comes back with a vengeance. I am happy he is no longer in pain and a better place.

I am so happy my mom had a smile again. I know she’ll smile again someday, but it might be a while. That’s ok, life happens. We’re much better prepared this go-around, even though it’s still hard.

He told me in the couple of weeks before he died that when he went, he’d love to go tell my dad anything I wanted to tell him. He said to write him a note a put it in the pocket of his jacket of the suit he was being buried in. I thought, “What a sweet man. He still thinks of caring for others while he’s passing away.” I did jump on the opportunity and let him read it before he left. I wrote the note so that it was addressed to him as if he was to arrive in heaven in the suit and find it.

What he didn’t know is that I have been writing my dad letters for years. I’ve written to him when I missed him more than usual and carry them with me. I didn’t tell many people, not even my mom. It’s like he knew my dad had seen me writing to him, and my dad wanted him to tell me that he saw.

He was a great asset to our lives and I’ll be forever grateful for his love and support. Love ya dad!